Black and White
by ShimmeringCrimson
Summary: The first chapter of the Earl's story comes sooner than expected when Allen Walker goes insane after Mana's death, triggering his inner Noah to awaken.
1. Insanity

_"Do you want me to take back Mana Walker from your treacherous God?"_

God? There was no God.

God wouldn't have taken Mana away from him in the first place. God wouldn't have given him such an ugly arm. God wouldn't have given him someone who taught him that he could be loved, only to take that person away.

Surely, there was no God.

Something salty reached his chapped lips as he looked up at the looming man.

Why should he care anymore, anyway? What did it really even matter? The man - no, _thing_ - grinned wider at the boy's numb nod.

Perhaps, if he had known better, the boy known as "Allen" wouldn't have accepted the offer.

But then again, maybe he would have. After all, in the end, he was only human, and humans are selfish creatures who will do anything to keep their "hope" from turning into "reality."

_"Allen?" Who is "Allen?" There is no Allen. "Allen" was just another facade who was created to stop him from lapsing into insanity._

The world was going black again.

He no longer could tell the difference between "life" and "death," "good" and "evil," "sanity" and "insanity" anymore. Time passed as a blur, the only thing registering in his mind was that his throat hurt, someone was screaming, his head _hurt, hurt, hurt. _It wasn't until the screaming stopped and his lips remained open, eyes squeezed closed so hard that it hurt, mouth dry and groggy, that he realized that he was the one who had been screaming.

Maybe "God" wished for him to suffer.

Again and again and again until he felt that his head would split open like an egg and blood would splatter across the ground -_  
_

Just like Mana's had.

_There was "Allen" and there was "Red" and the two were polar opposites. Sometimes it felt like they would struggle against each other, suffocating him._

Over and over and over.

Day by day, the scene would play over and over and over again in his head. The same dark, thick substance would splatter across delicate fluffy flakes, a bitter contrast that was growing tantalizingly familiar.

At first, they had had to hold him down. He hadn't known why at the time, hadn't known why they wouldn't let go of his thrashing limbs, why they wouldn't let him see more red to show Mana that he was sorry, but eventually his senses had gone numb and slowly he got to the point where he didn't care anymore.

He didn't understand what the red-haired man wanted him to do, either.

A spoon was held out, clear broth sloshing out of the limply-held metallic utensil.

The red-haired man came to visit him a lot, but he didn't understand why.

Sometimes it would be for different reasons. Sometimes he would force a pill down his throat, or bring in new, clean, _white _sheets (_just like the color of the snow before it had been tainted with red_, his head would scream), or sometimes he would just sit in a chair beside his bed and talk to him.

It was a continuous circle, and he was growing sick of it.

And still his head wouldn't stop hurting.

_"Love" was just another fragment of life that would be destroyed, too, just like everything else in a world as cruel as this one._

New images came into his head, sometimes.

He didn't know the people in them most of the time, but a spark of recognition would ignite when he saw Mana, albeit younger, much much younger, and cause the pain in his chest (_and his head, always his head_) tighten, constrict, make it hard(er) to breathe, and sometimes he would see the man who had taken Mana back in them, and eventually he began to realize that the world wasn't black and white anymore.

_Sometimes, maybe, perhaps_ again and again. He seemed to be using those words a lot, and he knew that he was the stroke of gray in a black and white painting, the wild card in a pack of cards, the one who seemed to always suffer among a group of happy, rich, smiling families.

He didn't know why his head hurt so much.

A lullaby would always weave around him, and it was so, so sad (_just like him_) and it made his head hurt even more.

No one else heard the lullaby, though.

He had never heard the lullaby in his life, but it seemed so painfully familiar, and more tears would find their way out, because maybe all the tears over the years were finally flowing free.

_He had once said that friends were weaknesses, and that he was strong, that he didn't need anyone, but right now he just wanted someone to hug him and say it was okay._

The red-haired man didn't do anything the next time he came to see him.

He just sat there with his head in his arms (_just like he was doing right now, _his mind supplied unnecessarily, reminding him of the position he was in) and silence reigned over the room, the only noise the small creaking of the bed when he moved back and forth in a slight rocking motion.

Then the man spoke, head tilting upwards, and that cold eye looked at him, but he didn't even acknowledge him.

"Do you remember what Mana always said?" he asked, and that knife that was already buried deep in his heart plunged in deeper, because of course, of course he knew what Mana said, and of course he remembered.

_"Don't stop. Keep walking."_

The chilling answer seemed to satisfy the man, because he left, and he was back to the silence, and his throat hurt more because he hadn't talked in weeks.

He had grown numb to the world, and he no longer cared about what was going on around him.

_The metallic gray between the sharp white and the dark black was cursed to be walk alone forever. It was just another unquestioned rule of the universe._

The pain in his head increased tenfold a few hours later.

Dimly, through the pain, he heard the click of a lock on the knob.

_His head hurt. _

Soft, almost inaudible footsteps thumped closer.

_Just end the pain, please. _

He felt something warm and wet on his forehead. Red blurred his vision, a familiar red, a red that made him sick to his stomach.

The tears streaking down his face mixed together with the streaming blood from his forehead, and he felt a delicate hand stroking that white hair that he hated so much, and he looked up into violet eyes, unable to stop the sob that shook his body.

Slender arms reached down, cradling his head as he let himself cry in her arms.

_"Poor little thing, does it hurt?"_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I promise it will be over soon." _

He could hear shouts through the door, yelling his name over and over again, but he had long since become unresponsive, and now he was letting himself fall farther and farther down.

Darkness engulfed him, and he embraced the blissful darkness.

_How cruel God was to curse such a young child. _

When the door's seal was finally broken, the young boy with the name of Allen Walker was gone.

* * *

**I don't know whether or not I'm going to continue this. If enough of you enjoyed this, then please let me know, because I want to know your opinions. :) If you have any questions (because it gets a bit vague in this), feel free to ask. This is my first time writing such an emotional scene, so if I didn't do too well, tell me how I can make it better. :) Also, if you hadn't figured it out yet, this is set right after Mana's death when he was being taken care of by Mother and that other clown who's name I forgot. **

**Please spend a few minutes to drop a review below. :)**


	2. Family

The first thing he noticed when he awoke was that the lighting wasn't the dim darkness it usually was. Instead, a bright, cheery light lit up the room, making it seem almost homey. The bed he was in was soft and comfortable; a first for him. He moved to sit up, hissing in pain when he succeeded. His hand flew up to his forehead, only to find that it was bandaged.

Slowly standing up, holding on to the desk next to the bed when his vision turned blurry, he made his way to the mirror in the corner of the room, going at a painfully slow rate. When he finally got to his destination, he watched as his reflection recoiled in shock.

His skin wasn't the normal creamy pale skin it had been, but rather a light gray (_how ironic it was, _he automatically thought bitterly), and his eyes were a dazzling gold, breaching to bronze.

He reached his hand up, fingers grazing the clean bandages that wrapped around his head. As if possessed, he unwound them slowly, the bandages falling to the ground in a twirling motion.

Unhealed crosses lined up neatly across his forehead, making the whole situation even more horrifying.

Delicate fingers traced the largest cross, the one that was in thedead centerof his forehead, a sense of dread filling him up and sinking straight down his stomach.

He turned tail and stumbled out of the room as fast as he could.

_They called him a demon, a Satan's spawn, a freak that deserved to die. (If only they could see him now.)_

He was officially lost.

He supposed that, yes, it was quite stupid to run into an unknown place without anyone to help navigate or lead him out, but at the moment he didn't really care.

And while he was still worried about what would happen when he got hungry or cold, he was too busy looking at the white city around him in amazement.

So busy, in fact, that he didn't notice that there was someone in front of him until he bumped into a pair of legs.

"Umph," he said, looking a bit sore and dazed from where he was on the smooth pavement, gold eyes locking with ones that looked just like his for a moment before dimmed to a chocolate brown.

A smile lit up the stranger's face, and he looked at him warily, scooting back a bit even though his backside still hurt from where he had fallen.

"What are you doing here, boy?" the man asked, crouching down so that he wasn't towering over the young child. He readjusted the cigarette that hung loosely from his lips, a hand reaching up to ruffle the white locks.

He didn't answer, looking uncomfortable and flinching away from the hand.

The man sighed. "Let's introduce ourselves, shall we? I'm Tyki. What's your name?"

Still came no reply, and the man who called himself Tyki frowned, brushing the white bangs away so that he had a clear look at his forehead.

His eyes narrowed just a fraction, smile widening. "Are you the boy Road brought in?"

That seemed to bring a response from him, because he twitched slightly, almost in confusion.

"She never mentioned your name, you see," Tyki continued, knuckles brushing against the stigmata that were engraved on the boy's forehead. "Wouldn't it be easier if you told me, boy?"

Purposefully, he shook his head and swiped at the hand on his head. Tyki seemed amused by this, but before he could say anything, a frantic girl came running down the street, almost tripping over herself on the way.

"Tyki!" she said, looking relieved. "You found him!" She beamed up at the older man, then turned to the small boy who was still on the ground. "Allen, you can't just go running off by yourself!" She reached to hold his hand, but he recoiled and stared at her as if she were a lunatic.

The girl, whom he suspected was Road, pouted at his refusal. Then, she frowned. "Allen, why did you take off your bandages? You're not done healing yet."

This time she really took his hand, dragging him to his feet, despite his feeble refusal. "Bye, Tyki!" Road called cheerily, waving jauntily.

A thin trail of smoke escaped his lips. "Bye, Road," he smirked. "See you soon, boy."

_Time could go by so quickly and yet so slowly, and in a way, time was a sort of torture for some. _

A knock on the door rebounded through the room.

The man he had seen earlier appeared, running a hand through his unruly hair. Once again a cigarette hung loosely from his lips, and cool brown eyes looked at the small figure in the white bed, hair tangled and dark sags highlighting his face.

"We're going out today, boy," Tyki said, leaning on the doorway. "You've trapped yourself in here for days now, and you need to get out and smell the sunshine."

And so that was how little Allen ended up walking hand-in-hand with a man he barely knew in the middle of some forest.

Somehow, he figured it wasn't just a walk in to park to get some fresh air like Tyki had insisted it was.

The boy looked up at Tyki, frowning when he saw that the man's appearance had changed.

He looked like Allen had before he went back to normal.

Gray skin, golden eyes, strange small crosses bored across his forehead.

It scared Allen to think that he was like this man.

This man who suddenly seemed very scary and not at all like the polite gentleman he had been before.

There was a humming sound, and it seemed close by, and he opened his mouth to say something, to warn whoever was there to get out of there, but his voice wouldn't work, and he watched as a man appeared through the trees.

It was a middle aged man, one who seemed very peaceful and calm. He suddenly felt sick, sick but not knowing why. He had a feeling that the predatory grin on his companion's face had something to do with it.

The other man seemed to notice their presence, because he looked up in surprise, about to call out a greeting, but stopping when he saw the man who was across from him.

There was silence, and then Tyki said, "You wouldn't happen to be Froi Tiedoll, would you? I actually have a message I need to deliver."

"I am Tiedoll," he said warily, unaware of who this stranger was. "Would you mind telling me who you are?"

"Me?" Tyki grinned. "I'm Tyki Mikk, somewhat of a messenger for the Earl as of late."

"The Earl?" Tiedoll said, a surprised expression flitting across his face.

Allen tugged on Tyki's dress pants, distracting the two from their conversation.

Tiedoll finally seemed to notice the young boy, and his eyes widened, and then softened slightly.

"And who might you be, child?" he asked, and even Tyki seemed confused at the sudden change of topic.

Allen opened his mouth, and then Tyki seemed slightly shocked when words came out for the first time the kid had been with them.

"Allen, mister," he mumbled, looking down at his shuffling feet in embarrassment.

"Well, Allen, what are you doing way out here?" the man asked kindly.

"I don't know," Allen answered truthfully, words scratchy and rough from lack of use. "Tyki said that we were taking a walk, but I think he's lying."

Tyki blinked, lips pulling upward, and a hand reached out to ruffle his hair again, which seemed to look like the start of a habit. "How cruel of you," he said mockingly. "How could you not trust your own family?"

He remained silent, eyes glued to the ground, frown still in place.

Tyki sighed, smirking as he looked up at Tiedoll. "Well, on to business, I suppose." His eyes strayed to Allen. "Boy, I suggest you watch and learn. The Earl himself ordered this."

And then it began.

Strange butterflies flew out of Tyki's sleeves, surrounding the area around Tiedoll. "I told you I had a message, did I not? Might as well prove my point a bit while I'm at it."

Allen watched in horror as the two clashed together, Tiedoll seemingly unsurprised by the turn of events.

The boy covered his eyes with his arm, not wanting to see another death so soon, wincing slightly when he heard the ripping of cloth.

"Now that's no good, boy," he heard Tyki say, no doubt an insane grin on his face. "You need to get used to it now that you're part of the family."

Allen mumbled something about being kidnapped, and Tyki laughed loudly. Sill refusing to look at the scene in front of him _(was that the scent of blood he smelled?)_, he stumbled backwards in his attempt to find a tree to hide behind.

"Don't be such a killjoy," Tyki scoffed, holding off the General's blows with a sort of shield-looking object.

Clearly, Tyki Mikk did not know how to handle an eleven-year-old child who had just gone through the trauma of watching his adopted father die twice.

Allen then decided that he liked Road the best, because she gave him candy and didn't try to make him watch people kill other people.

Yet, that is.

Allen peeked through his fingers, eyes widening slightly at the sight of blood dripping down Tiedoll's forearm, Tyki looking at him coolly, completely unscathed except for a small scratch across his cheek.

Tyki glanced over at him, starting to make a snarky comment about how Allen was finally watching, but faltering when Allen's hands flew up to the upper part of his head, cradling it slightly.

"Boy?" Tyki asked hesitantly, looking troubled, and surprisingly concerned.

Tiedoll looked worried too, and although the man who had fought him with unnatural strength suggested that the boy was the same as him, Allen seemed unwilling and uncomfortable with killing, or even witnessing death at all.

"…head hurts…" he mumbled, still not looking up. "My head hurts, Tyki. I wanna go home."

"Of course," Tyki said smoothly. "Just sit down for a moment while I do my job."

Allen complied, leaning on the closest tree, an oak, watching through white bangs as Tyki let his shield slip away.

"You said you had a message for me?" Tiedoll asked, usually compassionate eyes narrowed and cold as he gazed into the golden eyes across from him.

"Ah, yes." Tyki cleared his throat with a roll of his eyes, frowning at the melodramatic words he had to say.

"The Earl says, and I quote, 'The prologue has finally ended, and the long-awaited beginning is starting. For now I shall leave the bookmark on the page as my youngest family member heals, but soon the plot will begin to show.'" Tyki's eyes flickered to Allen, worry etching his expression when he noticed the paler than usual skin.

Tiedoll looked thoughtful, nodding to himself. "I'll be sure to pass it on, as I'm sure you wish me to, and I hope you know that the only reason I'm letting you go this time is because you have a sick child with you."

Tyki nodded, having expected as much. "Then I thank you for your time," he said politely, the gentleman inside him overcoming him now that the short fight was over. He turned to Allen, no doubt to pick him up and leave, but Tiedoll called out to him once more.

"Tyki Mikk," he stated. "I have one more question for you."

Tyki paused, a sly smile forming, already having guessed what he going to ask.

"What are you?"

"What am I?" Tyki repeated, amused. "I'm the Third Apostle of Noah, one of the true chosen ones of God."

"Noah?" Tiedoll shot right back, wanting more information.

"Yes, yes," Tyki sighed, adjusting his white gloves so that they were more comfortable. "The Clan of Noah. I suppose you could call us super humans." This seemed to be some sort of inside joke, because Allen recognized it from a conversation he had overheard from outside his door, but at the moment he really didn't care, what with the constant pounding in his head.

The pounding increased, growing louder and louder until he was unable to hear what the two men in front of him were saying, and then suddenly he was being picked up, held so that his chin rested on Tyki's shoulder and he was looking at the still man who was getting farther away with every step.

And then, there was darkness.

_Darkness seemed to be growing more and more familiar, and he wondered how it had ended up this way._

He was greeted with a cry of "Allen!" when he woke up, followed by a flustered Road, whom of which was asking repeatedly if he was okay in different variations.

"I'm fine," he said blankly, still half-asleep and unaware of what was going on around him. Road blinked rapidly, mouth opening in a small "o" shape, and then grinned widely.

At his puzzled glance, Road answered excitedly, "This is the first time I've heard you talk! I thought Tyki was lying to me to try and trick me when he said that you had answered the exorcist you ran into, but he wasn't! I can't wait to tell the twins and Lulu and maybe even Skin but he probably won't be as excited because the only thing he's interested is candy and ooh the Earl will be happy too, isn't this great?"

All of this was said in one breath, and Allen paused for a very long moment as he digested all of the words that had suddenly spouted from this girl's mouth.

However, being the kid he was, his mouth decided to ask the one thing he had understood in the speech he had just been given.

"Skin?" he said dubiously. "There's someone named _Skin _in this world? Actually," he paused thoughtfully. "Your name is Road, which is pretty weird too…and Tyki. I think Tyki's name is the most ridiculous out of the three." He seemed satisfied with his decision, and Road looked slightly grumpy about the blow to her name.

"My name is _unique,_" she insisted. "Not weird."

Allen looked at her piteously. "Whatever you say."

And Road probably would have been mad at him for the rest of the day had she not realized that not only was Allen talking, he was teasing her.

This was, of course, a miracle in her mind.

Before they could continue in their little argument, however, the sound of a grumbling stomach rumbled through their ears.

Road looked at Allen, and Allen blushed.

_He was starting to act like Mana, because that was the only thing he was sure of anymore, and if that meant giving and accepting affection, then that was what he was going to do. After all, Mana had lost his mind too, so they were the same, and yet so different. _

Allen ducked his head, refusing to look up at the people who were going to be his new family. There was an awkward silence of a sort, and only Road seemed unaffected, talking rapidly and latching onto Allen's arm as if she were an extra appendage.

The first one who decided to introduce themselves was Lulu Bell, and Allen was quick to note that she was exotically refined and cool-hearted from the moment she stood up and reached across the table to shake his hand.

Lulu turned out to be very loyal to the Earl, but was quick to tell off the rest of her family if they were annoying her or the Earl. She stated quite bluntly that she had no guarantee of what happened to him if Road or Jasdevi decided that they wanted to play with him one day, and gave him the advice to "just go along with it until they settle down or get bored," unto which Allen thanked her and that was that. He decided that he liked Lulu because of the way she was so straight forward, but quiet with a calming aura, despite her appearance.

Skin Bolic was a man with a very short temper, and seemed to be obsessed with sweets.

"Do I like sweets?" Allen asked, confused at the sudden question that had been directed to him from Skin. "Everyone likes sweets. That's a dumb question."

"You'll find Skin to be quite the dumb person," Tyki commented idly, chin rested in his hand.

"Why you – " Skin growled, standing up from his seat and gripping the table cloth, fury evident.

"…" Allen stared at the back of his chair where his head had been a millisecond ago, gloved hand to his mouth, the other patting his head in shock.

"Missed," Road drawled, glancing at the strawberry cake that was splattered across the now-ruined chair.

"How do you miss throwing something at a person that's right across from you?" Tyki wondered aloud.

"Morons can do it easily," a dark-haired teenager snickered.

"Especially morons with the name Skin," a blond one followed up with, and the two teenagers high-fived each other, insanely large grins on their faces.

"Introduce yourselves," Road ordered, cherry red lollipop hanging from her lips. "Don't be rude."

"You can't order us around!" the blond exclaimed, looking put out.

"That's right!" the other said, crossing his arms. "We're sick and tired of you always treating us like servants!"

"Servants, hee!" agreed the blond.

Allen stared at the two, and they faltered, drawn in by the confused, innocent expression. The so-called twins glanced at each other.

"Okay, okay," the dark-haired relented. "I'm David, got it? Not Denny or Dale or whatever."

"And I'm Jasdero!" the other cackled.

"And together, we're Jasdevi!" they said together, grinning at Allen as if expecting him to be impressed by them.

"Are they idiots too?" Allen wondered out loud instead.

Road fell over in her seat, howling with laughter, while Tyki just snickered. The twins looked stunned, and then furious.

"Why you little brat, you're gonna get it – "

"He's going to get what, Jasdevi?"

The two paled, turning very slowing from their almost-attempt to throttle the young boy.

"Earl," David said. "When did you get here?"

"Two minutes ago," the Earl said coolly, eyeing the twins as they shrunk backwards. "But really, you shouldn't get so mad at him. At least he's telling the truth."

This brought on another round of laughter from Road, and even Allen had to cough to mask his laugh.

Then the Earl and Allen made eye contact, and they both stared at each other for a few seconds.

"I hope you're not going to say something cliché like 'So we meet again, Allen Walker,'" Allen stated seriously, bringing a hearted laugh from the Earl.

"Welcome to the family, then, Allen," he said in an overly amused voice.

Allen slipped on that smile Mana used to wear, and he supposed that this was going to be quite the experience.

_It was only expected to be the person everyone else wanted, after all. _

* * *

**Thank you for all the kind words from my readers! I saw a comment from a guest who didn't understand what was going on, so let me summarize: In recent chapters, we saw a flashback from when Allen was staying with a woman named Mother and a clown, Baba (thank you for informing me of his name, by the way), after Mana's death. During the last chapter, it was about how he was slowly going insane from that event, and then his Noah is awakened because of all the commotion (maybe?) and Road comes to get him. And that's to everyone else who didn't understand what it was about too. :)**

**Drop a review, please? :)**


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